Noelle’s Birthday!
Happy 5th Birthday!
It’s been 5 years!! Noelle turned 5 today and I can’t help but look back to the day she was born. By far the absolute worst day of my life, yet still holds as one of the best days too. It’s an odd feeling looking back. Having a 24 weeker comes with huge responsibility and a lot of chaos. Yet, huge blessings. As I’m typing this, Noelle is in her room singing “Happy Birthday” to herself!
This 5 th birthday holds a lot of weight on my mind. I remember when I first got to see my girl. I was hesitant to name her, couldn’t hold her and without the help of doctors, nurses, machines and tons of medicine…she wouldn’t be here. I was told everything: Noelle would never walk, probably wouldn’t talk, she might be a vegetable for the rest of her life, she could be trached and vented forever. I had a little bit of hope and a lot of prayer…
i remember being by her bedside when she was about 2 weeks old. She wasn’t even 2lbs and she was getting ready to have heart surgery. I just wanted to fast forward to her 5th birthday and get a preview of what her life might look like on her fifth birthday. I kept having dreams about her fifth birthday. Would I be celebrating with a normal kid, a wheelchair bound kid, a trached kid….or would I be celebrating at her grave? I just wanted a preview so for 2 seconds….I could stop worrying.
In my wildest dreams, I couldn’t imagine a better, stronger and more beautiful 5 year old. She still on oxygen, still has meds, still has a feeding tube….but who cares?! She’s gorgeous, smart, and has a sparkling personality that will charm anyone that meets her. Most important, she has more love tucked into that tiny body than most adults. I was teasing her tonight and told her we weren’t able to pick up birthday presents (even though she asked about them all morning), her response was “that’s okay mommy! Do I still get cake?”
i used to have feelings of jealousy towards parents with “normal” kids. Screw that…I’m beyond blessed and so thankful for both my kids. What’s true is they complete me, I can’t imagine my life any different way. Having a special needs kiddo has given me so much! Patience, perspective, patience, education, patience, perseverance…. Did I mention patience?
I just got back from Cub Scout camp today with Andon. It was such a welcome change just being me and him! We both enjoyed it and have made a pack to do more things one on one together. It was an absolute blast!
My grandmother always told me that the older I got, the faster life would pass me by. She’s right. These past 5 years have flown by….it feels like yesterday when it felt like INOVA Fairfax was home! I need life to slow down a bit. These kids are getting too big…way too fast! I only hope I can continue to stop and remember all the small and insignificant moments in order to savor all the big milestones.
Xoxo,
Stacie:)
What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger... 
I found your post through a friend and I wanted to say Happy Birthday! My niece is a 24-weeker who happens to be 11 (12 this Halloween). She is smart and funny, but unfortunately teased a lot because she is so short (don’t know if it’s because she was a micro-premie or if she got my mom’s short gene) and because she has Aspergers. I remember when she was born, so was so small 1 lb 5 oz, and the doctors told my brother that she most likely wouldn’t make it 24 hours, then 48 hours, than a week…she kept proving them wrong. I didn’t get to see her (and wasn’t able to touch her) until Christmas. She came home from the hospital when she weighed 4 lbs in April. I’m so glad that she made it through as she is such a wonder girl…and a great babysitter to my 10 month old.
Happy Birthday, Noey! I simply cannot believe how God guided your life since she came into it. It’s been amazing to see her grow up through you and I truly believe her progress is all based in your being home with her, as traumatic as that decision was. You go Mama!
Stacie, it has been a true blessing to know you and to watch Noey grow (online) these last 5 years. You and your family have been an inspiration to me. God Bless you all!
Kate Roll